depth

this blog is called cash and change
naturally with cash comes change

i can still remember life before
which makes the changes that much more real
that will slowly fade

i wouldn't go back for a second

sunday cash had a weirdly long nap
45 minutes turned into 4 hours
felt like christmas eve
anticipation
excitement
tim and i were pacing
hoping
waiting
wondering
when was he going to get up?

i couldn't wait
to play
to snuggle
to kiss
to look deep into his dark blue eyes
to tell him
how much i love him
that i am proud of him
and that i accept him
no matter what

my mom and i had a misunderstanding one time
i'm to blame
right before i was to board a plane to head back west

i balled
and i balled

mascara everywhere
stop over in calgary
still balling
messy
tried to keep it together
just couldn't

pregnant
babe within me
i realized something very important that day
i was about to have a child
that would have no idea the depth of my love for him

you never really realize how much your parents love you
until you have your own

i was humbled by my moms unconditional love that day
despite my brattiness
inside knowing
i would have the same love for my unborn babe
praying that one day he'll truly understand that depth

so much of God in that

i love being a mama
i love feeling and experiencing this kind of love
there's nothing like it

cash
my boy
my love
my depth is deep

i thank my parents for their goodness and grace
i thank my Heavenly Father for the same
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s